## Metadata - Author: [[James Folta]] - Full Title: What if Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales came out today? - Category: #articles - Summary: Today marks the anniversary of Chaucer's first reading of The Canterbury Tales in 1387. Imagine if the Tales were released in modern times - with social media buzz, film adaptations, and even Twitter beefs. Chaucer's work becomes a hot topic, sparking various reactions and controversies in today's digital age. - URL: https://lithub.com/what-if-chaucers-canterbury-tales-came-out-today/ ## Full Document *Today is the anniversary of Geoffrey Chaucer’s first reading of*  The Canterbury Tales *in 1387, when he performed the epic* *at the court of King Richard II. It’s the perfect day to reread a tale or two, rewatch* A Knight’s Tale *with [Paul Bettany as Chaucer](https://lithub.com/an-ode-to-paul-bettanys-mellifluous-magisterial-turn-as-chaucer-in-a-knights-tale/), or wonder what it would be like* *if* The Canterbury Tales *came out today, instead of 600 years ago.* --- Chaucer reads the first draft at King Richard II’s Court, a very hip reading series hosted by the King to showcase up-and-coming writers and jesters. Photos of the reading flood social media, as do stories of the killer afterparty. \* Chaucer is interviewed in *The Paris Review* for The Art of the Tales No. 1. He talks about growing up as a London kid, his travels abroad, and responds to accusations that he was a “nepo-page” and was only apprenticed to a Countess because of his dad. \* BookTokers become obsessed with reciting Chaucer’s spicy passages, and Prank TikTokers start “Miller’s Tale-ing” each other. \* The film rights to *The Canterbury Tales* are sold for an enormous sum to a movie studio hoping to spin the *Tales* into a new Marvel Cinematic Universe. But the CTU fails to get off the ground due to bizarre choices: the CGI fight between the Summoner and the demon in “The Friar’s Tale” is widely mocked, and the insertion of a wise-cracking roommate named Dale in “The Franklin’s Tale” doesn’t make any sense. But the studio makes some money back on merch: Wife of Bath Halloween costumes are extremely popular with kids. \* Chaucer’s episode of Marc Maron’s podcast is the shortest in the show’s history because he’s so allergic to Marc’s cats that they have to stop recording. Chaucer’s appearance on *Smartless* goes better, but he keeps getting steamrolled by Will Arnett’s riffing. \* Chaucer drops in at a comedy club late at night to work out some new Tales. The crowd goes wild when he walks out, and some audience members post videos of him reciting a draft called “The Influencer’s Tale.” After this, Chaucer starts using Yondr bags to lock up audience members’ phones. \* “The Cook’s Tale” and its star become the focus of a SantaCon-style pub crawl where people skip work to roam around drinking. Everyone hates bumping into the “Perkin Revellers.” \* *The Canterbury Tales*’ book tour becomes the hot literary event, and up-and-coming writers vie for a slot opening for Chaucer. Fans post set lists online and speculate over which tales Geoffrey’s going to read in which city. The shows are always 5+ hours long. \* Chaucer gets into a bunch of Twitter beefs after people start dunk-tweeting on his prose: “And smale foweles maken melodye,/That slepen al the nyght with open ye” ??? wtf is this bro I’ll say it: Ch\*\*cer ruined the epic poem and I can’t believe people are sharing his stuff around like it’s good? canterbury tales? more like cant write, bury these tales \* A minor lit scandal breaks out when someone discovers that Chaucer has a bunch of fake Twitter accounts he uses to yell at critics and share “You Gotta Stop Dripped Out Geoffrey Chaucer” memes.